so i have been listening to a lot of social d lately. Everything in life is so slow moving. Graduation is tomorrow and though it feels as if its just another day... it symbolizes so much change in my life. David and i are hitting one rough patch... well maybe its more like a building thing but with all the change in my life it is just more noticable. Its crazy the emotion you put into only four years of your life. tommorrow is going to be a good day.

Im coming to realize that my family is self centered whores. not those in ohio but all the ones in west virgina and normally i call it west virgina sickeness but truly the older i get the more i see west virgina is such a small portion of the corrupt nothing ness  they are. i never ask much of them because they always fall short... but you know i can hope they would support me when i graduate... its just two hours of the 18 years i have been alive. But its never the way i hope with them. You can never expect much from them except to take your money... even the one who loves you the most and gives your everything you ask... and they take so much from my grandmother that they let her rot alone in her trailer while they are just a few steps away.... and feel no sympathy while they are taking her money for a down payment on a new car. it just makes me sick what they do to the people who you are meant to love and respect the most.

im just torn up all together. my grandmother may have lung cancer. she has one of the most beautiful kind souls you will ever come across. the way she is now just makes me feel low. what do you do when you know you may lose someone that is so important in your life?

what a bitter sweet time in my life

   SOCIAL DISTORTION LYRICS

"Angel's Wings"

You say you're down on your luck
hey baby, its a long, long way up
hold back now, hold back your fears
you say you're really down and out
and you feel like there's no way out now
let go now let go of your tears some more

How many times have you asked yourself
is this the hand of fate that I've been dealt?
you're so disillusioned this can't be real
and you can't stand now the way you feel

I don't care about what they say
I won't live or die that way
tired of figuring out things on my own
angel's wings wont you carry me home

[Chorus:]
And when you're down on your luck
hey baby, its a long, long way up
hold back now, hold back your fears
and when you're really down and out
and you feel like there's no way out now
let go now let go of your tears some more

[Repeat Chorus]

I triumphed in the face of adversity
and I became the man I never thought I'd be
and now my biggest challenge, a thing called love
I guess I'm not as tough as I thought I was

I don't care about what they say
I'm gonna marry you some day
go ahead and wake up, its a brand new day
Angel's wings gonna carry you away
Angel's wings are going to carry me away
Angel's wings are going to carry us away

1) Do you have a crush on somebody?: no... wait do boyfriends count

2) Do you hate more than 3 people?: mmm.... yeah but most of them i dont know

3) How many houses have you lived in?: 2

4) Favorite candy?: hard one..... twix

6) Have you ever tripped someone?: Yes

7) Least favorite school subject?: math

8) How many pairs of shoes do you own?:im not sure... most of them are flip flops

9) Do you own a Britney Spears CD?: never

10) Have you ever thrown up in public?: no... but in a sink... yes

11) Name one thing that is always on your mind?: sleep

13) What is your zodiac sign?:Capricorn... Sea Goat wOOt

14) What time were you born? like i know

15) Do you like beer?: im not fond of anything that looks and smells like pee

16) Ever made a prank call?: yes way back in the day

17) What is the most embarassing CD you own:nothing now but i used to own a pokemon cd

18) Are you sarcastic?:No not at all.....

19) What are your favorite colors?: green... red

20) How many watches do you own?: my phone is my only watch

21) Summer or winter?: Summer

22) Is anyone in love with you?: I would hope david is (in love man thats some heavy words...)

23) Favorite color to wear?: dont have one

24) Pepsi or Sprite?: cranberry juice w/ sprite

25) What color is your cell phone? Silver And Blue

27) Have you ever slapped someone? yeah

28) Have you ever had a cavity?: when i was younger i think

29) How many lamps are in your bedroom?: none

30) How many video games do you own? 1

31) What was your first pet?: cat

32) Ever had braces?: Nope

33) Do looks matter?: kinda

34) Do you use chapstick?: Yes

36) American Eagle or Abercrombie? American Eagle

37) Are you too forgiving?: not so much forgiving as passive

38) How many children do you want?: 2

39) Do you own something from Hot Topic?: Yes

40) Favorite breakfast meal?: bagel w/ creamcheese

41) Do you own a gun?: Nope

42) Ever thought you were in love?:still strong words... i have loved but not so much "in" Love

43) When was the last time you cried? drama banquet

44) What did you do 2 nights ago? went to cassie's

45) Olive Garden?: its ok

46) Have you ever called your teacher mom?: No

45) Have you ever been in a castle? white castle and loveland skate castle... wait do they count?

49) Do you know anyone named Bertha?: No

50) Ever been to Kentucky?: Yes

51) Do you own something from Banana Republic?: No

52) Are you thinking about somebody right now?:no

53) Ever called somebody Boo?: i pretty much thought that was stupid

54) Do you smoke?: no

55) Do you own a diamond ring?: yes

56) Are you happy with your life right now?: once i graduate and get my surgery then yes

57) Do you dye your hair?: probably too much

58) Does anyone have a crush on you?: ....?

59) How many siblings do you have?: 1 Older Brothers

60) What were you doing in May of 1994?: whatever 6 year olds do

61) Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD? no

62) McDonalds or Wendys?: Wendys

63) Do you like yourself?: yeah

64) Are you closer to your mother or father?: mother

66) Are you afraid of the dark?: Nope

67) Have you ever eaten paste?: not that i can remember

68) Do you own a webcam?: no

69) Have you ever stripped?: No

70) Ever broken a bone?: yes

71) Are you religious?: Yes

72) Do you chat on AIM often?: not really anymore

73) Pringles or Lays?: Lays

74) Have you ever broken someone's heart?: no

75) Rugrats or Doug?: Doug

76) Full House or The Brady Bunch?: Full House

77) Did/Do you like your high school guidance counselor?: not sure

79) Do you have a birth mark?: Yep

80) Do you own a car?: yes

81) Can you cook?: yes

83) Do you text message often?: Kinda

84) Money or love?: money

85) Do you have any scars?: Yes

86) What do you want more than anything right now?: a full ride to college

87) Do you enjoy scary movies?: Yes

88) Relationships or one night stands?: Relationships

89) Big Red or Juicy Fruit?: juicy fruit

90) Do you enjoy greasy food?: yes

91) Have you seen all the Rocky movies?: no

92) Do you own a box of crayons?: Yes

93) Ever had sex in public?: no

94) Who was the last person that said they loved you?: david

95) Who was the last person that made you mad?: mom

96) Who was the last person that made you cry?: Bronner

97) Who was the last person that made you laugh?:Memaw

98)Last person that you called?: david

99)have you ever been suspended?: No

So i just recently got back from wonderful new york city as my graduation present. You you have a chance to do this instead of doing in the way of a band trip... do it. I had such a better time than with the band. Everything was viewed at my speed.... god i love new york. Its amazing that a group of people infront of me would be speaking one language and the people behind me would be speaking an entire diffrent language. I love the culture.

I finally got to take my time at the Metropolitan museum of art.... which was an all day thing because i has to take my time. It was a natural high for me to look at some of georgia o'keefe's paintings or Diego Rivera. It was a shame there was no artwork from frida kahlo.... even since there was a jacques and natasha gelman gallary and they became such good friends when diego was doing work in new york for rockefeller.  

There is so much to tell in this trip.... but im not going to put it all in. I am going to try to put some pictures in here. it was a great grad gift.